Time Warp

I miss being cold. Could it be cold just for a few minutes so I can wear a snuggly sweatshirt, please? I’m craving snow and crisp Autumn air, crunchy leaves and ice. It was in the upper 80s yesterday and WHAT a relief. We didn’t even have to turn the air conditioner on!! Can you imagine? I’ve been practicing positive visualization techniques extensively of late (snow drifts, polar bears, ski lifts…) and today managed to transport myself not only to another climate, but back in time!!! (Dum duh dum dum duuuuuuuummmmm) Here’s a break down:

*Telescoping back in time to 1994*

It’s 7th grade at LeRoy Jr./Sr. High School. Me and the girls (we all have nicknames that start with the letter S: Shiraz, Shanaynay, Shalami, Shanunu) are pumped for our upcoming Marching Band trip to Florida. Very pumped. We’re so excited that we decide to release some of our creative energy into a short novel documenting what we imagine the trip will be like. And so, The Florida Story is born.

We each write a chapter and pass it on for the others to read and write the consecutive chapter–there are 24 chapters by the time we’re done. The final product is of the romantic comedy/action adventure genre.

By the end of the novel, we’re trying to kill the others off and write ourselves in as the heroine. That’s where this picture of me on top of Epcot center comes in. After a tragical accident (I was attempting a quick getaway on a motorcycle with a new-found True Love when I fell in to a pool and got a concussion), I (Shiraz) end up at the hospital hooked up to an IV of Valium. I miraculously escape and (still hyped up on Valium) decide I need to go on the Spaceship Earth ride. The real story is so much more dramatic, here’s a little clip– Carrie writes:
She jumped off the ride, ran through a secret passage to a hatch that opened to the top of the golf ball and stood right on the top…(end of chapter)

I pick up with the next chapter…

So there I was, poised to jump off the giant golfball. I had just finished singing “Star Spangled Banner” when far down below I saw, nothing–it was really far down to the ground!

Meanwhile, Shanunu, Shanaynay and Shalane were in the cafe in France (at Epcot). They were sitting at a cute little cafe sipping cappucinos and eyeing the hotty across the aisle. All of a sudden he stood up and started walking towards them (obviously there was a major attraction!). He was so engrossed with the lovely ladies that he walked right into a gigundo clay pot with a palm tree in it. Woops! The girls jumped up and ran over to see if he was alright. The hottie looks into Shanaynay’s eyes and says, “Hi Gorgeous!” Shanaynay passes out because he is so absolutely groovy.

Suddenly, “OH NOOOO!! STOP!! DON’T DO IT!” screams Sazama (Shiraz’s new found love) when he sees Shiraz poised to jump off of the giant golf ball.
“Why not?” demanded Shiraz.
“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU! DON’T JUMP, PLEEEZZE SHIRAZ!! WITH A CHERRY ON TOP?”
Shiraz responds, “Okay, but not an artificial cherry because those are DISGUSTING!” But not knowing how to get down (the valium still affecting her), she jumps!!! (To Shalane and Shanunu’s great joy–with Shiraz out of the way, they are free to be the heroines). BUT ALAS!! Shiraz foils them again!! She had a bungee cord on! Oh HA HA!! The End.

I guess you need to have experienced the entire Florida Story sub-culture to really appreciate this poorly written humor…or perhaps you need to have read the entire story from start to finish. But, I thought this little segment was highly amusing.

For all interested, The Florida Story is also available on audio tape. That’s right, at our impromptu two-year reunion we each read a few chapters and recorded the entire mini-novel on audio casette–complete with sound effects and impersonations! I think it definitely has Hollywood Blockbuster potential, don’t you?