Climb every mountain, fjord every stream

I’m celebrating (quietly, at home, alone–lol) tonight! Tomorrow marks the start of consistent shifts for me at Bouchon! Woohooo!!! Graveyard, baby yeah! I’ve been feeling like an upside down pineapple cake lately…starting at 8am one day and 9pm the next…never knowing if I’m coming or going or what’s going on. It’s a good thing everyone else has a handle on what’s happening in my life…

I just got a voicemail from the bakery (the guys at night like to listen to the radio to make things go by a little more quickly. Rock and roll and work with dough. Hahaha. Okay, sorry that was a bad one. Anyways, their favorite show is John Tesh: the radio host who offers intelligent facts about life, things you always wanted to know, tips for improvement…the 411 so your life doesn’t become a 911. Get the picture? He also plays cheesie 80s music for hours on end, so that’s another bonus). Anyways, apparently they’re listening to good old Johnny boy tonight because they called and left me a message that Tesh is sharing tips for first dates, and suggested that I turn on the radio straight away. Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny boys, very funny! (Can you hear the sarcasm in my voice? It’s dripping like cold lavendar honey).

I know what they mean though; I feel like I’ve been on a million first dates in the past five months! In reality, the actual number is a little bit lower, but the pressure that comes with first dates–Ay, Dios Mio! Is there a more uncomfortable or awkward experience? (Okay, so I can think of a few, but first dates are definitely in the top ten). Even if you purposely work at easing the tension and share every joke you know (Why do cows wear bells? ……Because their horns don’t work!! HAAAAA!)–nothing seems to help. Anyways, at this point in my life I feel like dating is just not worth it! (Though I have had a couple good first dates and I suppose if I really found a kindred spirit I wouldn’t banish him to the end of the earth, but how far from Las Vegas could the end of the earth possibly be? I’m thinking max five miles, so the banishment would be wasted!) I’m sure this is just a temporary phase I’m going through…but until I’ve worked through it, could all you guys out there just leave me alone? Thaaaaaanks!

Perhaps I’m being overly dramatic. But, No. I really don’t think so. You should try being a woman in the restaurant industry for a week. I’m not complaining, I’m just stating that in any other industry, the constant flirtation, inuendo, and sexual commentary bordering on harrassment would not be tolerated. The HR department at Bouchon goes to great lengths to discourage and protect against any sort of harrassment, but a certain amount is built into kitchen culture. I appreciate this fact, was aware of it coming into this profession, and am a lot tougher now because of it. I’m just a little bit sick of being pestered all the time. The workplace is not a singles bar. Hellow.

Seriously, the next culprit is as good as on a plane to Patagonia.