Excess Baggage

What’s up with the plastic-bag-saving fetish? Everywhere I go people are saving their plastic grocery bags; wadding them all up into one giant bag or stuffing them unceremoniously into the handy plastic bag saver they got at IKEA. Come on, I know you do it too. What are you saving them for? You’re NEVER GOING TO USE ALL THOSE BAGS IN A MILLION YEARS.

I feel the root of the plastic bag fetish lies in good old frugality. Why throw away such a useful, versatile, free-ish product? Money down the drain! Somewhere down the road that plastic bag will come in handy–whether it’s to carry a wet bathing suit or wrap an impromptu birthday present– the thought that we might really need a plastic bag for some Important task and be without one is terrifying in the extreme.

But I ask you. Do we really need to save HUNDREDS of plastic grocery bags at a time? I mean, they’re taking up an entire closet: that’s valuable storage space. Will we ever really have occasion to use 468 plastic bags?

I go shopping about twice a month and average 7-10 bags per trip. That’s about 20 bags a month, times 12 months a year, equals 240 plastic bags a year. And that’s a conservative estimate for a single 20-something female. What if you’ve got a family, or more than one person in your house goes shopping! You could be hording upwards of 400 plastic bags a year. Think about it. Is this excessive baggage necessary?

Having just moved into a new apartment, I’ve been shopping a little more than usual in (what seems like a neverending, futile) attempt to set up an organized household. I have at least 120 plastic bags lurking underneath my sink already, and it hasn’t even been a full month yet. I mean, I don’t even have a couch or a decent chair to sit on, but I’ve got over a hundred stupid plastic bags. Perhaps I should use them as a noveau pillow stuffing and make a giant plastic-bag-filled bean bag couch for our living room.

I’m starting a campaign to live more simply. Simplify. Get rid of stuff you don’t need. Let go of superfluous habits that are cluttering up your life. Throw a couple of those plastic bags into the plastic bag recycling bin at the grocery store next time you go. Or make a plastic bag craft or something…(I’m seeing plastic bag mini hot air balloons and parachutes, plastic bag quilts, and why not sew them together for some attractive grocery style curtains?). Why did Rapunzel go through the pain of letting Prince Charming climb up her hair when she could have tied together her grocery bags and made an extremely sturdy rope? Helloww?!? What do you do with your plastic bags?

I started my Move To Europe Fund today. At the end of everyday I’m going to empty out my purse, pockets, shoes, etc. for all change and one dollar bills and put them–no, not in a plastic bag– but in a pot whose plant didn’t survive the pilgrimage to Las Vegas. (Alas, it was my lucky bamboo too!). I can’t wait to go! I’ve always wanted to live on a farm with goats in Europe (where I’ll wear pigtails and blue dresses just like Heidi did in the movie. I’ll probably take up yodeling too). It feels so good to put a real plan into action!! I mean, I’ve got well over 24 cents in my little pot–I’m practically there already!!

If any of you out there want to start a fund too, we could totally go together.