Respectable Automotive Awards Nomination

It is hoooooooooooooottttttt in Napa. Let me just tell you. Mid to high 90s all week. SO HOT. And, aparently, clouds don’t grow in the air around here. It’s totally sweet.

Can I just say “Thank goodness for trustworthy mechanics”? Thank you!! I took Beatrice to the doctor’s today, as she was due for an oil change and also because I’ve been meaning to get her tires rotated and aligned (as per another mechanic’s strict instructions before I left for the cross-country road trip: “AS SOON as you get to CA, get the tires rotated and aligned!”).

So, I pull in to St. Helena Brake and Tire (after getting lost and having to call for directions) and explain to Mike that the tires have been pretty loud lately, and could he please check those out while he’s at it? He immediately checks the tires and informs me that three of them Are in a BAD way. Oh, Billy. Just what I want to hear. You know how tires are supposed to be round, solid, protective sort of beings? Well, Beatrice’s tires were completely rippled (rippled: technical term–NOT ROUND). Have you read the poem “Wavy” by Shel Silverstein?
Wavy
I thought I had wavy hair
Until I shaved. Instead
I find that I have straight hair
And a very wavy head.
Beside that poem (which appears in his book A Light In the Attic) there’s a picture that perfectly visualizes how round my tires are not.

So, Beatrice is getting totally pimped out today: three new tires and an oil change. What a spoiled brat.

For all of you not-so-automobilically-inclined out there, Mike gave me some advice today that I’d like to share with the world…He said, “Never tell the mechanic what you think is wrong. Let them figure it out.” I think that’s terrific advice! For several reasons; A) You probably don’tknow what’s wrong with the car in the first place, and B) Say you tell the mechanic what to fix. It’s his job to do what you say. You tell him to fix the muffler. He fixes it. Then ($200 later) he tells you that your muffler was fine, you just needed a new rearview mirror (or whatever). You’re out mo dolla’s because you’re a bad auto diagnostician. Not smart.

Thank heavens for honest mechanics.

Although, my new tires are costing more than the alignment and rotation. But Honest Mike isn’t charging me for the alignment and rotation that I never needed in the first place, so I guess it all works out.

Old School: Turn Your Volume Up!

carrot.gifI just happened upon the first webpages I ever created. And, if I may, they are absolutely hilarious: they’re full of annoying, never-ending sound effects and obnoxious, patterned backgrounds that make reading the text impossible. These pages are also completely out of date–so basically they’re every serious webmaster’s nightmare!

Hansi and I created these during high school, and I updated them once in college, after finally getting my driver’s license.

Re-reading them, I’m reminded that we were searching for soulmates and desgined these pages in hopes of attaining them! HAHAHAHAHA.

Hansi was infatuated with carrots. I was infatuated with the phrase made up during an evening of (then- torturous) dishwashing, “Eat a sponge!” (Just imagine how disgusting it would be to eat an old, stinky, germ-infested, wet sponge). This became The Ultimate Comeback senior year of high school.

Oh, Billy. Hope you enjoy!

THIS is Civilization??

poop.gifI had a very unpleasant experience this morning while jogging with Minnie Mae. First of all, I know I was in the wrong. Everyone is supposed to clean up after their dog. BUT WHAT AN INFURIATING LAW. Who can remember to bring bags with them EVERY time they take their dog for a walk? I suppose it’s a habit you have to establish. I haven’t established it yet.

Minnie left a little tiny present in someone’s front yard–not even the real front yard, but that little strip of grass in front of the sidewalk. And the lady who lives there stuck her head out the front door and yelled “Thanks for leaving that!!”. It’s barely six o’clock in the morning for crying out loud! Mom had just had a major can’t-find-my-keys-trauma, I was up all night with this exotic disease (allergies) that won’t go away…doggie bags were not the first thing on my mind.

I’m more upset about the hostile attitude of my fellow community member than the embarrassing reminder that I’m an irresponsible dog owner. What a nice welcome home! Haven’t you got anything better to do? If she had politely reminded me of my poop-scooping duties I might have gone back and picked it up. But she just had to be nasty about it.

I’m plotting to have 50 tons of dog do dumped all over her front lawn. TAKE THAT!! She’ll have to enlist an extremely large team of professional pooper scoopers to get that mess cleaned up! I’m sincerely hoping that not even the trendy new product Poop Freeze will help her out on this one. I hope she steps in some with her bare feet. Anyone want to get in on Mission-Drop-The-Poop-By-Her-Bedside?

Vacation

On vacation in the Outer Banks of North Carolina this week, and then heading back home to gather my belongings for a more permanent move to CA!! Whoohoo! Happy Easter everyone!

Le Grand Buffet

I’m graduating from Culinary School today! Picture-mania as soon as I move into my new space. Planning on staying in the SF area for awhile–good news for all of you who have not come to visit yet! (Hint hint….) Going back East for the next three weeks for some quality bonding time and a family vaca. CAN’T WAIT.

Funny Bugs

cart.jpgThere are these old bugs–the volkswagon kind
that drive around St. Helena trying to find
misplaced shopping carts.

Hilarious! They attach the carts to their rear bumper
and bring them back to the store. I can’t figure out if Safeway
pays these guys to do this, or they’re just in it for fun. Does anyone know?

In other news, I’m in search of the perfect brownie recipe and need testers. brownie.jpg
Here’s how it works: I’ll send you samples of brownies and you send me back a postcard (included in aforementioned brownie package) with your thoughts on the brownie–improvements, likes, dislikes, etc. If you’d like to be a tester, submit a comment to this blog with your address if I don’t have it, and I’ll send you some treats.