2003

Christmas Stockings are a highly under-rated tradition (if you ask me). Think of all the potential those empty hose have!! Hellowww: SUCH POTENTIAL! Stockings hung by the chimney with care are like big chunks of blank space craving to be filled with sweet goodness! And still, we stuff the bottom with grapefruits, rocks and cans of olives to make it look fuller than it really is. Let’s kick it up a notch, people! I am henceforth sending out a challenge (to all of you who celebrate Christmas): take advantage of The Christmas Stocking. Let’s revive this tradition! How many extra-special little treasures can you fit into that sock?!

People around the world stuff socks at Christmastime; In Holland, kiddies fill their wooden clogs with hay for Santa’s reindeer (or so I hear…I find it hard to believe that parents still get their kids to wear wooden boats on their feet instead of nike or sketchers), in Puerto Rico, they fill their shoes with leafy greens and flowers for the Three Wise Men’s camels to eat, in Italy children leave their shoes out for a witch–La Befana–who comes on the Epiphany (Jan. 5) to fill their sneaks with sweets…and the traditions go on and on.

Here’s a little example of how one could fill a stocking for (my)utmost enjoyment:
2003 Ultimate Stocking Competition
The Food Lover’s Companion
Short wooden knitting needles, in a variety of sizes
Theater tickets to a Broadway musical
Enrollment in a wine appreciation class
Alarm clock that gently wakes you up to the music of your choice, happy, comforting, inspirational words, or any noise that doesn’t want to make you throw it against the wall
Hunks
Shopping spree at J. Crew and VS
Private jet fashioned with top-of-the-line kitchen and comfy sleeping area (for those cross-continental trips)
Year’s subscription to a decent, conveniently-located gym with professional kickboxing classes
Enrollment in a learn-how-to-be-a-hip-hop-dancer course
Three skeins of hot yarn (to be used with aforementioned needles…)
Quality speakers for Beatrice (my car)
Small cottage somewhere quiet that can be My Very Own Space
Money to decorate my aforementioned cottage
Weekend getaway in Tahoe
Vacation time to be spent with friends and family
Houseboat
Microplane (brand name) that grates extremely finely
Small camera case
Some nice cheeses
Trip to Spain

Phew! Boy, was that theraputic! Sometimes it’s fun to let go and fantasize for a moment about everything you could possibly want if you were a completely materialistic person. It’s a good exercise for your imagination too (because you’re obviously never going get all that stuff!) So go ahead and dream–What would you fill your stocking with?