Notes From The Road

Here are some excerpts from my travel diary. I began talking to myself incessantly while working the night shift alone. I do that a lot now, and these entries suggest that I may need to curtail that habit (at least in public…).

3:30PM (Vegas Time) It took me SOOOO long to leave Vegas! I’ve been listening to the CDs that Andy and Drew from Garde Manger made me (The Band, Ya Lo Tengo, George Isaacs, etc.–Thanks guys!!!).

The police officer at the Hoover Dam checkpoint warned me to slow down in a thick Brooklyn accent. What an idiot: “Where you headed?” “New York” “We have speed limits here in Arizona too, little lady, so you might want to pay a little more attention to them. Wouldn’t want you–especially being from NY–to get a ticket.” Dude, get a life, I was only going 25 in a 15mph.

Writing this entry from a Wendy’s dining room table in Arizona…

Around 5:30PM (Arizona Time) I stop in Kingman, AZ for dinner at Wendy’s. I have a Mandarin Orange Salad, a rootbeer and a small Frosty (I LOVE FROSTYS). Misty, the cashier in training is so freaking slow. This salad has an extremely low eatability factor. It’s taking me ten minutes to assemble the stupid thing! In the process, I’ve managed to spill salad all over the table; Oh dear. I should have ordered something warm–everything is cold and crunchy (I’m really into crunchy noodles lately…).

I have no idea where anything is in my car and I still CANNOT believe that I’m leaving Las Vegas. (Mmmm, I love frostys. Wendy’s salads I can live without, but frostys–oh baby.)

My phone battery is pretty much dead. Why haven’t I invested in a car charger by now?

I’ve only been driving for two hours and am already bored and tired. HELLO: YOU HAVE 38 MORE HOURS TO GO, WAKE UP GIRLFRIEND! This salad really sucks. I should have gotten a baked potato. There’s enough freaking iceburg in here to feed a family of rabbits for a year. I wonder how far I’ll get tonight. I wonder where I’ll be sleeping for the next three days? HA! (It’s taking forever to eat this frosty, and I’m getting a cold headache. I think I’ll just leave this impure refuse for the rats.)

Time to get back on the road. It’s already pitch black outside. Good thing I’m staying on the same road for the next 1012 miles!!! HA!! Flagstaff here I come!

Let’s go Beatrice! (Beatrice is my car).

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10:00 PM (I think I’m in New Mexico…) Been stopping every two hours so as not to fall asleep too much. But two large pops and an energy drink later my eyes are still droopy. Decide to stop for one more red bull and some more gasoline. Whoa. Talk about kick start your heart (try one of these babies, Chef Kipp!). Am I having a heart attack? I still haven’t found the rest of my CDs and so am relying on those from the garde manger boys and an Hispanic mix CD that Ruben gave me. At this point I don’t really feel like finding a hotel. Maybe I’ll just sleep in the car. Amarillo is the goal for tonight, but I may only make it a little past Albequerque…we’ll see.